Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
