I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
