This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
