U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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