She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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