You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
