Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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