don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
