I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
