I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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