Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
