Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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