I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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