I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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