I love black thongs
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
