I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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