I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
