HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
PANTIES FOUND
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
