Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize