You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
