i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
