You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
