can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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