sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
