Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I yelled at your uterus for you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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