Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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