My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
