I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
