its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
