u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
