I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
