new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
