How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
