I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
