This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dignity is for republicans.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
