You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
