he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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