we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
