You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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