Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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