Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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