honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
