I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
only if we run a train.
done.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The Olympian is in my bed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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