you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was CRYING into my vagina
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
