My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
