I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
