they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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