While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
