He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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