I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
