well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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