i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
