i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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