You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize