He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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