No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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