i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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