Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
