Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
