hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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