id be glad to
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
