I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
