What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
