Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
