Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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