either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
