Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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