I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
