all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
