Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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