i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
