Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
