im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
