I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
