so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
