the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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